“Gone ,maybe..” – A Poem by Mariann Mhlanga

I subscribe to a lot of Zimbabwean blogs , some with poetry , politics, music , opinion and stuff like that . One of the blogs that I follow religiously is “Rhythm of The Heart” , run by Mariann Mhlanga who most people know as Mars . She Is a very prominent figure in Zim Hip-Hop as she runs one of the most successful hip-hop blogs in the land, Bars 263. I fell in love with a certain poem of hers..

Read and enjoy!

I love teddy bears. I found one last year. Man i
loved it a little more than the rest of them.
That bear inspired me, made me feel warm at
night and the thought of my bear got my mind
sharper . My bear somehow moulded me. I
grew from clingy to stubborn. Instead of
always looking at other teddy bears for warmth
and closure from my boredom , depression and
never ending confusion, this one made me
complete. Not that i wasn’t whole before, it just
reminded me that i can shine on my own.
I am self centered. I hate sharing. I hate
groupies. I loathe noise. I love silence. Silence
speaks to my soul.
I dislike silly games that’s why i stuck with my
teddy always.
Time passed, the world kept rotating and
seasons shifted. My teddy bear grew a little
cold, old and boring. I thought twas just my
confusion. I had doubts. Confusion mixed with
doubt is a bad prescription for an unsettled
spirit.
One day i took a really closer look at my teddy
bear. I looked again and again. I got angry!
Was i seeing right?? Was i dreaming?? Was this
all a prank and it’d get explained to me later?
Why?? My heart sank, my knees went weak
and my eyes closed. Why??
My teddy bear wasnt really mine. It belonged
to someone else. I got to understand i had
been a keeper of someone’s property. But
how? I knew twas mine and events made me
believe so too. How again was it not mine?
I hadnt noticed that when i got this teddy
bear, it had a mark that showed it already was
someone’s. For all this while, i never noticed,
until i was too used to it and too attached.
You see when you love something so much and
it grows on you, your worst fear is to wake up
one day and find it missing, either stolen or
reclaimed by its owner. Well this was me,
shocked, angry, weak and confused, realising i
had been sold dreams. I am self centered and i
hate sharing. I am also not mean. What
doesn’t belong to me doesn’t feel right , no
matter how much it makes me happy , smile
and feel safe and warm. The mark meant i had
to surrender ‘my’ teddy bear, the bear i learnt
to love and appreciate. ‘My’ teddy bear wasn’t
mine.

That was nice wasn’t it ?? You can click here to check out her blog to see more and more captivating poems and stories by Mars. You can also check out Bars 263, her Zim  Hip-Hop blog here.

Cheers!!

By Sharky

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