THE GUY AFTER MY HEART – TALKING ROMANCE WITH Vanadis17

I’m a firm believer in true eternal love but I however do not believe in fairy tales. Neither do my fantasies include being romanced by a chilvarious night in shining armour nor being charmed by a gallant prince who was magically transformed from a frog. I don’t wish to fit into the glass shoe, and I  absolutely do not want to be abruptly awoken from my slumber by a handsome hunk of a dude. What kind of a woman am I you ask? Is she insane you wonder? Well in short, this writer is  not a cynic neither is she a bitter black woman but she is just a realistic woman with a sound mind.

My guess is that statement hasn’t won you over yet and most probably by now your face is scrunched up in a perplexed frown wondering what I’m trying to say, so I’ll try to clarify myself as eloquently as possible in as few words as possible too.

As I said before I do not base the characteristics of my ideal boyfriends on fairytale characters and my ideal love story cannot be found in the pages of a fictional story. This is because my romance has not yet been scripted and will only be scripted once I fall in love with whomever it is that I fall in love with.  And most probably this young man won’t be a dashing Prince charming or a heroic Romeo but will just be simple Johnny from around the block who’s head is filled with news updated about Moyes and not 1000 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR BETTER HALF.

I also would much rather fall in love with Johnny than Prince Charming because like Cinderella I’m just a small town girl with no extraordinary fame or fortune attached to my name hence even though Charming and I profess undying love to each other, our love will probably die soon after wearing the glass slipper and there might not be a happy ever after all. Why? Simple-we come from different worlds, with different cultures and practices which in most instances can never be reconciled even by the most purest of love. Lurking in the shadows will be observant family and friends who out of love for their son and sheer over protectiveness might believe that Cinderella is really after the gold in Charming’s pockets and not in his heart. At the end of the day I’d end up being a gold digger and not Cinderella.

Now getting hitched with Beast or with the frog is not as wonderful as it is made up to be. You see beast due to his outward ugliness and unattractiveness will most probably be a bad tempered, over protective grouch who will always belittle himself and think that he doesn’t deserve his romantic interest. No amount of reassurance or love from her will change his negative attitude towards himself or increase his self esteem. Now in order to reassure himself he will readily erect a steel cage around her and stalk her every move. Now this would eventually translate to some form of physical, emotional or mental abuse or all three. At the end of the day, she’d end up being Rapunzel locked up in a tower, but instead of a tower she would be in her own home and her captor would be her beast and not the proverbial witch.

So this leaves me with the superman who will gladly take the bullet for me if push came to shove, this is the guy who would do absolutely anything for me just to make that pout disappear. This guy is the kind of guy that most girls dream of, selfless, giving, courageous,loving in short heaven sent. Take note that I said most-not all. There happens to be a very small but very existent fraction of women who would rather not have superman come sweep them off their feet. You see superman because he genuinely loves me will do everything and anything for me in the heat of passion. He will come in and save the day when my car is in need of repairs, when my hair has some serious growth and needs to be redone, when a family member suddenly falls sick right in the middle of the month and I’m close to admitting bankruptcy. He will drop everything, important business meetings, his family and friends just because it’s that time of the month and I’m in desperate need of good company.  Yes superman is a real hero… but tell me what happens when things come to an end as they usually do, when Prince Charming drops by and leaves with my heart wrapped around his finger? Or when super hero decides that it’s time he harvests the honey in my possession and I refuse? Or when he’s love turns nasty and I’m forced to hide ugly bruises each morning? What happens then? Will I be able to walk away easily? Or will the memory of all that he’s done,all those gifts, all that money,time and effort, all that I owe him, slow me down and make me hesitate to walk out the door? As statistics show chances are very high that that memory most probably will slow me down and imprison me in a situation I’d much rather not be in.

Hopefully by now the bazookas raised to fire at me have been lowered as the train of my thoughts is understood. It’s not that I have something against Romeo, it’s just that I’d much rather have me my Johnny from ekasi whom I love for whom he is and who will love me for whom I am without any form of pretense. I want Johnny who though simple and has empty pockets will grab use mahala chat to talk me till the sunrises. I’d rather have him than Charming and his wealth  because when we are in each others arms we have all the riches that we can hold.

BY TANYA V17 MASAIRE